Dear ......

 Alexander Wang,

I hope this letter finds you well!

I've waited what seems like weeks and i still have no bag/shoes or t shirts  from the FW09 Alexander Wang collection 

Mary Kate Olsen isn't responding to my emails/ faxes/ twitter responses therefore i feel like i have to go to the source. I think I should get these flat studded boots seen in the picture above/ an assortment of t shirts and that studded bag  Mk has  for the following reasons:

A ) I'm frumpy, when your a frump u need ALL the help you can get honestly if I had these items I truly feel that everything will be amazing. Consider this as a good deed you would be turning the black version of Muriel in Muriel's wedding into a full time glamour puss.

B) Sending look books to the LOVE office today was a clear indication that you want me to see your amazing collection if you don't want rather odd open letters i suggest you don't send shiny new look books.

C) If I don't have these items soon  I feel like my life will descend into complete and utter chaos i will have to rob a few pensioners and homeless people, I'm sure you wouldn't want to be associated with crime (ill tell them you made me do it) so for good pr reasons I feel like sending me these items would be  highly beneficial to both of us.

I'm a size 41/42 shoe (yes i know big feet )

L-XL in the t shirts (naturally)

Ill take whatever bag but ideally the studded backpack would be marvellous Items can be sent to my home address or to the office whatever is convenient for you.

I await your response 

many thanks 

Jeanie Annan-lewin